Mike Pence Suggests Thoughts and Prayers to Combat Climate Change, Citizens Stock Up on Dove Crying Statues

As many scientists and politicians work year after year to fight the effects of Climate Change that hits many areas all over the globe. Several politicians had to change their stance in order to gain more support than the die hard 20% of the population that hates Science. As an appeal to many of his fellow religious zealots he proposed a new plan to compromise between the many that don't currently believe in Climate change and those that do. After a lengthy press briefing Pence gave a his new two point plan to deal with all the issues people are facing due to Climate Change as he stated "We have seen the reports that scientists all over the globe have given us that have told us the crisis we currently face and we also read the reports of the Exxon scientists that explain oil is good. So we are pushing for a comprehensive plan to tackle the issue of Climate Change to make everyone happy. Today I propose a two part plan as outlined on this slide"

Thoughts and Prayers plan

As people pressed on what Phase three is and how the first two solve the issue itself Pence looked back at the slide and pointed "Its clearly right there on the slide." Though some back and fourth conversation occurred there seemed to be any more details offered to answer any of the concerns brought up by many at the location. A few days after the briefing there were reports of many locations selling out of Dove Crying Statues. When we spoke to someone at a local store currently in line trying to purchase ten statues they stressed the importance of increasing the number of things offering prayers.

Mourning Doves

After reports got out Trump has announced they will be soon selling on their site gold plated mourning doves for $3,000 as they are Trump Certified and increase Thoughts and Prayers by 50% over regular statue doves. We weren't able to get any more information when we sent out emails for further details.